I See Here That You Don't Have Any Children

A while ago I injured my lower back. I spent a week on my couch propping up various limbs with pillows, trying in vain to find ANY position that wasn’t excrutiatingly painful and waiting in doctor’s offices in hopes of a solution, a miracle or maybe even just a good night’s sleep in the near future. I went through the same questions again and again. I don't remember injuring my back. I haven't done any heavy lifting. My chair at work IS ergonomic. I don't just sit, I stand up and walk around the office periodically. I have NO IDEA what is wrong with me. My regular physician told me to try different sleeping positions. Seriously. Like “Oh, you wake up crying at 3am because you are in so much pain that you want someone to sever your spine and get it over with? Hmmm. Trying sleeping on your other side.”

Finally, in desperation, I met with a doctor at the local emergency clinic - after another sleepless night and waking to find I needed to walk in a funky hunched position like the hermit crab lady in the Labyrinth. He poked and prodded at my spine, had me lie down on the table and pulled and twisted my feet and finally announced that it was nothing serious. I had a lower back injury that - he said in a puzzled tone - is, "...actually most common in mothers. But I see here that you don't have children."

BINGO.

The moral of the story? Just because a 7 year old is adorable and lays his head on your shoulder like the sweetest, most angelic creature ever to walk the earth DOES NOT mean you should keep picking him up every time you hug him.

I am learning a lot of things these days that no one ever mentioned to me about being around children. My back is much improved.