The Secret Lives of Bunnies

Boy bun basking in sunlight.

Today I am offering a rare view into my inner sanctum. I need a pick-me-up and these are the critters whose main duty in life is to be cute in my presence and, therefore, make me a happier dame (I think they would be more likely to list their main goals as 1. dig a hole in the litterbox 2. gain access to every place in the house that has a closed door and 3. destroy the television by finding a way to access - and chew through - the out-of-reach power cords. I have very different ideas about how they should spend their time than they do.)


Girl bun in her favorite place in the UNIVERSE - under the couch.

Rabbits are surprisingly smart pets. They take a lot more work to keep up properly than most people assume. I think people tend to lump them in with hamsters and gerbils as low-key starter pets. This is ABSOLUTELY not the case. They have delicate digestive systems and if they eat something they cannot digest they can die (rabbits are unable to regurgitate). They are also prone to die of a heart attack from too much excitement or a sudden fright. They are sensitive and need an understanding owner who will bother to pay attention to their body language. They are more work than most cats and are rarely an appropriate pet for a child unless the particular bun has a mellow temperment and the child is considerate and clever enough to learn to care for a rabbit properly. They are also naturally social animals and need interaction (most buns are happier raised as a pair or group) and should not be left to live ignored in a hutch - the fate of many a bun purchased as an Easter surprise.


Boy bun noshing.

These little ones hop around my house pretty freely. They are litter trained (just like a kitty) and typically the only mess they make is when I accidentally leave a newspaper or the yellow pages down where they can shred it. They spend a lot of time hiding in what they think are BRILLIANT spots I do not know about, running races around the couch and conquering the mountain that is the chaise lounge (Boy Bun has climbed to the armrest on his own and will perch there to survey his kingdom). And they make no sound. Unless it's a little purring noise they will occasionally make by rubbing their teeth together (called a tooth-purr). It is a strange and wonderful thing to have these silent little creatures sharing my home.

They remind me of Mitch Hedberg's Koala routine: "My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, 'Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf.' "

My house is infested with bunnies. It's the cutest infestation ever.


Girl bun dismissing the camera with a withering glare.

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