I am going to Ikea tomorrow. Amidst my planning (because spending the day at Ikea is, for me, an event that must be planned), I went online to check out the website. Because I am odd, I chose to google “Ikea” instead of just typing in ikea.com. That’s how I ended up with This Article by Matthew Baldwin of Defective Yeti fame.
I have to say, not only is the video-game-style walkthrough hilarious, but I had a good giggle over the fact that crazy wacked-out lunatics LIKE ME who plan a whole day at Ikea are exactly what inspired it. Mind you, this is a lot funnier if you are also someone who reads / downloads video game walkthroughs. Cuz the format is pretty much dead-on. He even did the cheesy reproduction of the Ikea logo in dashes at the top - such attention to detail!
In spite of this good laugh at myself, I still started marking pages in my catalog with post-its and checking the website for availability. It’s a sickness. In my defense, I don’t actually buy entire rooms of furniture there. Usually I fall madly in love with an oddly shaped serving plate that I suddenly find I can’t live without. Mostly it’s about THE IKEA GAME - which involves setting yourself a relatively low limit (unless you need something big which in no way counts as a recreational visit - that’s just practical shopping which isn’t even remotely similar) and then figuring out exactly how much you can get for that amount. I suggest $50 or less. The goal is to buy a) as many items as possible, b) only items that you cannot buy anywhere else - what’s the point if you could pick up the same thing around the corner at Target? - and c) only things that you actually have a use for - i.e. no fair buying 20 things that cost 99¢ that you actually have no plan for once they reach your abode. The person who leaves with the largest, most creative array of purchases while staying within their budget wins. Unless you’re by yourself. In which case YOU AUTOMATICALLY WIN. It’s a great game that way.
....then you go to the Ikea restaurant and feel brilliant and thrifty while eating poached salmon for only $5.99!
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